Friday, July 29, 2016

The saga of the house continues on. He will forget about it for awhile, then start in again.
His memory has gotten so bad that he doesn't remember that he slept here, in his room last night. So sad....
He's been getting up again at night, an hour or 2 after he goes to bed. He will try and get dressed, then tell me he has to go to work. I think this comes from the fact that for a zillion years he got up at 3:15 am to go to work.
 Otherwise things are ok..I have been able to work on my art for my 2 fall shows.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Not such a great couple of days. We have gone through the "This is not my home thing" several times. Half the time I can divert his attention. Yesterday he asked again if I was ready to go home. This time I just said " in the morning", and he had forgotten about it when he got up. Until an hour ago.....:(

Saturday, July 23, 2016

So yesterday went well! My husband didn't get upset at all with the sitter, I'm so glad..and will do it again in 2 weeks :). It was nice to get out for a bit!

Friday, July 22, 2016

Today is the 1st day I'm paying someone to sit with hubby while I do some running around!
I can only afford to pay her for 3 hours..Will see how hubby does.
More later...

Thursday, July 21, 2016


Something I keep forgetting to express...There is a loneliness that comes with this disease.
I imagine that is probably true of any major illness.
The man that I shared things with, is really not there anymore. It's like I'm grieving while he's still here. I can't talk to him like I used to..or anything else for that matter. It's like he has become my "child" to take care of. While I do love this man deeply, even that has changed into
something different. It's hard to describe.
There really is no more conversation, affection and sex has been out of the picture for almost 2 yrs now. You just feel alone. Some don't come visit because they are uncomfortable with the disease, some come for an hour just to say they came...but we don't have many visitors at all.
No one to converse with! TG I have my BFF whom I talk to a couple times a week...
Sometimes the loneliness is overwhelming .

Another Day........

We shall see how today goes!
Yesterday evening on the way to bed...hubby fell again. He didn't get hurt..TG, Again.
Almost everyday he will say to me " Are you ready to go home now?". When I tell him "We are home"...he comes unraveled. So weird to me that he believes everything he thinks is correct..and if something goes wrong, it's automatically my fault. It doesn't occur that he might be wrong. Some things he says I just agree with, other things like "lets go home" I can't agree with, and sometimes finding the right thing to say without upsetting him takes a lot of thought! 

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

This morning was a bit of a challenge. I got up at 6 to go pee and hubby was up and sitting in the dining room..I just wish I was better in the mornings than I am. I made myself a cup of coffee and helped hubby. When he gets up, he takes his depend off and puts on a pair of boxers. He will put on a T shirt or tank, which is often on backwards..and sometimes his pants as well.
He will grab all kinds of clothes and they will be strewn all over his room.
This morning as I was re dressing him, I could see his legs were weak, so I told him to sit down.
He did..but sat on the edge of the bed and promptly bounced off and fell. This time it took him about a half hour to get up.
So far the rest of the day has gone fairly easy!

Monday, July 18, 2016

I haven't posted in a couple days. That's because they were fairly good days! Last night hubs
fell again on his way to bed. He refused to use the wheel chair and wanted to walk. Of course he blamed me, but that's ok. It's so hard for him to admit he cannot do some things anymore or that his legs are weak.
 So far today has been good!
Writing most everyday about this seems to be helping me, by letting it all out. I don't feel as tense or frustrated since I started this last week. Even if no one else reads gives me an outlet..

Friday, July 15, 2016

Last night hubby went to bed at 7pm. At 8pm he got up and told me he had to get dressed and go to work, wondering where his boots were. He has been retired for many years..I took him back to bed and he got up again after an hour. But this time when I put him back to bed he stayed asleep.
 He got up at 9 this morning. At 10 a gal that I know and her sister came over to meet hubs and discuss sitting with him when I need to go somewhere or to a show. I'm not worried as I know this gal pretty well, she worked for my Granny. However she charges $20 an hour so I won't be going often...but at least I have someone now!

Thursday, July 14, 2016

So yesterday was a "calm Alzheimer's day"...Thank goodness for those kinds of days!
I am an artist trying to get ready for fall shows, and I got quite a bit done yesterday!
This morning is starting off not so time will tell how the day will go.
I woke up at 6am, got up..grabbed a cup of coffee and took my Winston outside to potty.
When I came back in, hubby's bedroom door was open, and there was a large amount of pee on the entry floor tile. He gets confused about where the bathrooms are..I am just grateful it wasn't on the carpet. He of course said he didn't pee on the floor. He went back to bed, so I'm not sure if he wants to sleep more or get up.
If you are caring for someone with dementia you've probably noticed how "child like" your loved one becomes. It is like taking care of a large kid. Some days it is so difficult to watch this man that I've loved for 37 yrs to revert to childhood. I still picture in my head the big strong man I married, and hopping on our Harley.. going for a ride where ever the wind would take us. The last time he rode the Harley he forgot to put gas in it and ran out...he also dropped it at his daughters house. After that I took the keys and hid them..we ended up selling sad..
I'm off to start my day...

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

I am going to pick up here where I left off yesterday...
So hubby got up several more times and ended up falling twice, TG he didn't hurt himself other than a skinned elbow. I asked him several times to please not get up. He finally got mad and told me "You just get worse and worse every day"....and " I don't know who's or me"...LOL. It never occurs to him that he may be wrong. He has always been a stubborn man, and quite frankly a "handful"..well it's true even more now.
Every evening he goes thru what they call "sun downing", many people with ALZ, dementia or a history of strokes go thru this. For us, it starts around 5 pm. He starts by fidgeting with the string in his shorts or the pockets. He always want to get the scissors and cut the strings off or the pocket flap. He thinks they are broken no matter how many times I tell him " that's the way they are". A couple of weeks ago, he had convinced himself that he had murdered someone the week before and the police were coming after him. It was awful, really.
He goes to bed and will get up in an hour thinking it's time to get up, and time to go to work.
Sometimes I can get him back in bed, and back to sleep..other days we go thru this the entire night.
Once he got up early in the morning and wondered outside, TG he came back in! That day I put baby proof things on the door knobs, he hasn't tried it again.
I have a baby monitor in our bedrooms, but sometimes I don't hear him or he has unplugged it!
You cannot be a WIMP when dealing with is unforgiving, does not care what you have planned..It rears it's ugly head whenever it wants...Life right I'm typing he got up out of his chair again wondering around. I asked him to go sit down before he falls..he told me I'm
like an evil stepmother..LOL. And, did I mention you need tough skin?!

Monday, July 11, 2016

So...I go outside to do some sanding. I tell hubs I will be back in the house in 15 or 20 minutes and to please stay seated..he's had a few days where he just gets up and wanders around the house lately. I'm outside and I hear a thump noise (we live in a mobile home)..I go in and he's standing up but had fallen down. I ask him to please sit down and watch TV...his answer, " quit nagging me, I'll get up if I want to"!...Yes, he's getting more and more argumentative!
Those that know me, know I do not like to speak the first hour I am up in the morning. I need my coffee!
 Well Sal has a new behavior lately, which is getting up early. He was sleeping until between 10am til noon..but now he's getting up about 7, the same time as me. So now I am learning
to not only speak (LOL), but to get him changed, dressed, get his juice, meds and insulin shot
before I've had my coffee! Then comes breakfast. Next clean the kitchen, start laundry.
 DEPENDS...They do not always fit right and sometimes hubby takes them off in the night.
So for me that means laundry every day. I also spray anywhere that has gotten "wet" with straight takes the smell away.
 Sal has arthritis in his hips and spine so his walking is not very good..not to mention he falls close to once a week. He is a big man that for 45 years worked out with weights every other day.
I cannot get him off the floor. I have had to call the Fire department twice in the last 3 months to get him up.
Right now he is watching TV but asking where are kids are. He has forgotten they are grown up and live out on their own. Yesterday afternoon he wanted to call his daughter because he said he hadn't talked to her for awhile...forgetting that she and the granddaughters were here the day before. So far he remembers everyone, but his short term memory is gone. "Yesterday" is just a word, he doesn't remember yesterday..or even this morning.
Well I need to get to my art work now...more later...

Sunday, July 10, 2016

The beginning

July 10, 2016
My husband  of 36 yrs, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in September of 2013. It made everything make sense, and, when I really thought about it...I could actually go back 2 more years when it started. My husband ( Sal) has always had a lousy memory when it came to anything other than work. However, 5 yrs ago he started doing things like locking his keys inside his truck, he couldn't find address's of places he was putting in job applications, etc.
It wasn't until he started confusing thinks like calling his wallet his cell phone.... and telling me he couldn't find his wallet, when he meant his cell phone...that I really came to the realization that something was really wrong and called the Dr.
 Earlier, in March of 2013, he was in the hospital with Meningitis (brain infection) for 3 weeks.
He had a small stroke while he was there. His Dr thinks this is to blame for the Alzheimer's progressing so fast. He also has Hep C and diabetes..and is in the 5-6 stage of Alzheimer's.
 So this all is the background for his medical conditions and tomorrow I will start writing about our daily goings on.